Six years ago I went to Bangkok, Thailand for a professional conference and I got sucked into taking advantage of one of those “tailored suit in three days” offers at the ridiculously low price of $150. I’m usually resistant to unbelievable offers, but everyone at the conference was disappearing between sessions for fittings. “Oh, come on, Ray. Don’t be a stick in the mud. At $150, what can you lose? They will even send a car to pick us up and bring us back before lunch is over.”
I knew at the first fitting, that I had lost $150. Yes, it was the material I had picked out, but I was wondering what creature they used to take the measurements, because they certainly weren’t mine. I thought of the “I Love Lucy” episode when Lucy made herself a dress to save money. The suit was completely cockeyed.
Two fittings later, they got the suit to fit my body. It wasn’t perfect, but it was close enough, especially since I had to get back to the final plenary session and was leaving Bangkok the next day.
When I got back to the U.S., I did wear the suit once, but then hung it up in my closet where it stayed until last week. I had a vague notion I didn’t like the suit, but actually forgot why. I put it on and felt it fit fine, so I wore it to work. But as the day wore on, I began to notice things: the material was too shiny, it was also a bit thick feeling and stuffy, then I noticed the color of the thread they used for the seaming, it was a bit too dark and gave an unprofessional finish to my lapels, then I realized the coat buttons were misaligned with the button holes, and the jacket was in a permanent open mode that outlined a flask or a nuclear plant on the front of my body. But what took the cake was the zipper for my fly. It was a good 1-2″ too short. I felt like I was jumping hurdles. Maybe if I hang it up for another 6 years, I’ll shrink into it.
On the other hand, if any of you in blogland would like to take it off my hands, this story plus the fact that I’m a 40 Regular, 36″ waist, 30″ inseam should give you an idea of what to expect.
